Confessions of a Right-Wing

[Today we welcome one of our friends from the other side of the fence, AlwaysRight.  I think both sides will find this post very entertaining.  As always, if you would like to submit a post to PfP, please email peopleforpolity@gmail.com.]

Don't hate me because I'm right….wing. 

I'm in one of the top tax brackets.

I own my own home.

I have a big T.V. and SUV.

I listen to Sirius Patriot Radio and prefer Fox News over MSNBC.

I have never wanted for anything or lived in poverty.

  

I'm a white male.

  

In other words, liberals hate me.

  

I'm the terrorist. The "rich white devil" (words from a liberal describing guys like me) that lurks in the night conjuring up ways to steal your benefits and entitlements and force you to accept Jesus into your heart, trying to figure out ways to keep the poor...well...poor. My motto is "Greed is good.”  Gordon Gekko is my idol.

 Actually, I'm a whole lot more than that. My soul, although condemned to hell by most of the left, is very much intact. I haven't sold it…yet…to the Dark Lord for stock in a Forbes 500 company…as the asking price isn't high enough.

  

Are you salivating yet?

 I'm also totally independent of any government program. I'm not on welfare. I pay, happily, for my own health coverage (60% of the country is also happily paying for theirs).  I work religiously (yes, I know you don't believe in God. Sorry to offend.) hard for what I have. I also demand that those around me do the same.

  

I think those that don't, and can, are lazy. I think that most people on assistance are too accustomed to getting by with help and have given up on working, because…what's the point?

 You cannot pay people out of poverty. How long have we had entitlement programs? Why is there still such rampant poverty and destitution?  

 Take, for instance, African countries that we keep dumping money into…money doesn't solve anything, especially in the hands of those that don't know what to do with it, because you can't spend your way out of debt problems.

  

I'm not racist. I also don't believe that being a minority or gay or a woman should give you any special privileges like scholarships or jobs. I believe that everyone should earn it. I don't care if it's flipping burgers or shoveling rocks. Do something. Regardless of what you think, you are not above hard work.

  

I have worked my tail off to get to where I am.  Believe it or not, us right-wing terrorists are not all born into gold laced baskets donning Rolex's and pacifiers encrusted with diamonds. In fact, most are hard-working people.

  

I can actually hear your blood boiling.

 I'm not trying to cram the Holy Spirit in your holiest of holies.  While I was raised Irish Catholic, I don't think me handing out pamphlets and telling you how amazing a guy in sandals was is convincing you to join me for wine and crackers on Sunday, but I do respect those that want to follow it.  And I don't chastise them every time they make a mistake and call them hypocrites.  Even bible thumping Billy makes mistakes, and so does Atheist Aaron, and so does Buddha Buddy.  We all do.  

  

 Yet somehow those of the Christian faith are fair game.  Any other religion is off limits, even the guys blowing up our train stations and buildings.  I don't care what you practice; worship piles of earwax if you want.  It matters not.  But I don't want you in my face about it.  I also have no patience for those "religion-sucks-and-Christianity-kills-more-people-than-great-white-sharks" guy.  Give it up.  It's easy to criticize the QB's decisions when you're riding the bench.

 I don't care if gays want to marry. I'd encourage them not to….don't tell my wife.  But I do care that they parade down the street in chaps and body paint to get their point across.  How do you expect to be taken seriously…if you don't act like it?

 Again, I don't care -- which means I refuse to get into an argument about it -- so stop trying to tell me how "intolerant" I am for not caring the least if two guys wanna get hitched.

 I am against abortion.  Not because I don't believe a woman should do what she wants with her body, but because, in the majority of cases, it's a way to get out of responsibility.  You made the baby.  You had sex.  You deal with it.

 I wish I could just "abort" all of my inconveniences.  I'd abort my mortgage and car payment, not to mention the man has absolutely no say so in the matter.  Where is the outrage on his behalf?  Of course, there are instances in which my point doesn't apply, such as rape or if the mother’s life is in danger.  I have to mention that, which is a shame, because surely someone will label me a monster if I don't.

  

I have a real problem with people crossing our boarders without doing it the right way.  If my wife, from South Africa, can come over here with her family and learn the language, apply and keep up with the proper documentation…so can you.

 Stop giving these people excuses.  The fact that they're over here "for a better life" is a moot point.  I'm not against people coming here; I'm against them taking advantage of the system and playing stupid about it.  They know it's illegal, otherwise they wouldn't be dropping dead in the desert trying to get here.  And any state defending their boarders against the violence that has gripped the southern states (and I live in one; Texas if you must know) should be commended and offered help.

Instead, they're vilified by the left.  It's especially absurd when it comes from politicians from the north. I don't tell you how to handle your blizzards, because I would have no idea what I'm talking about.  I think you get my point.

I don't believe in man-made global warming.  Al Gore sold you liberals a book, and you're just now figuring out the earth is warming?  The earth has done this before.  My advice:  before you buy that hybrid and throw solar panels on your house, enjoy the heat and use a little more sunscreen the next time you protest at the front door of the very power plants that are allowing you to read this blasphemy.

I'm a staunch animal lover, and not just the cooked variety.  My wife and I donate quite a bit of money to local animal shelters (not all of my money goes to “The Heritage Foundation” and new sheets for the “Klan”).  We have three dogs.  However, I think PETA is the most asinine group on the planet.  In fact, they were responsible for nearly more animal deaths last year than they actually saved.  They took in 2300 animals; 2200 were put down, yet they're all over the news, throwing paint on furs and standing naked outside KFC.

Cause that's what Rover would want.

I think Washington is broken.  I think the government no longer fears the voters.  It's like the tenured teacher.  There is no incentive to "change" (remember that tag line?) because if they lose their position, another warm, Washington body will fill the void.

Government cannot save us.  I think the recent debt ceiling deal was a huge mistake. We continue to allow our government to spend at will.  

Schools failing?  Spend.  Auto industry failing?  Spend.  Banks failing?  Spend.  Need a cell phone but don't have a job? Spend (yes, having a cell phone is now an entitlement).

There is an airport in NV -- home of Harry Reid -- that subsidizes $3700 dollars…A SEAT.  So it's logical to spend that money on an airport nobody uses to "create" jobs? FYI:  the aviation business is the most subsidized industry in the world…not the oil industry as you might be trained to think.  

Yes, I used the "O" word.

Speaking of O…I think Obama ran an excellent campaign.  

Really.  

Instead of destroying our former president, you liberals should be sending him thank you cards (made of recycled paper, of course), as Bush is the single reason that a guy as unqualified as Obama could win the presidency.  

Having never run a business or served in any branch of military (although he was a boy scout in Indonesia), I'm not sure you should be the authority on things like "job creation" or Commander in Chief. I don't go to my favorite restaurant to have my oil changed, yet we look to a bunch of suits to tell us what's good for us.

I believe that Obama was born in the U.S.  I'm nowhere close to being a "truther,” but I also think he could've put that to rest had he simply presented the birth certificate when accusations started flying.

Sounds like he enjoyed the P.R.

I also think that 9/11 was not an inside job…and you're an utter jackass if you think so.  I think it's a very sad and pathetic attempt to make our last president look bad (he doesn't need any help).  I hate to be blunt, but it's very sad that someone, somewhere, would think that our own people would go that far.

While you may not agree with the war in Iraq (although, unlike Libya, it was voted on and passed), that doesn't mean we blew up buildings full of our own people, and nothing Michael Moore says is going to convince me otherwise.

A side note on Moore:  he makes a movie condemning capitalism, yet when it comes to selling his movies…

I'm a firm believer in the individual and that this country was not built on the backs of a government controlled state providing handouts for society but on the backs of individuals that understood the true meaning of liberty and freedom and what the Constitution was actually meant to do…which is protect us from government, not from ourselves.

Yes, I have actually read the document….have you?

So to my lefties out there:  I don't hate you.  I understand your disgust with me, but I hold no ill will, for at the end of the day, we are all Americans.  

I hope to contribute often to this site, as I believe that you could use a moment of clarity once in a while, because without me…who's gonna pay for all those programs?

I leave you with this thought:

"Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side"